The number of births to women in the United States over age 35 is declining with increasing age of the mothers. This is not merely a matter of choice. The fact is that fertility declines with age, and the currently popular notion that it is easy to conceive after 35 is too rosy. In fact, fertility starts a slow decline at about the age of 27, and by 42, according to the Centers for Disease Control, a woman’s chances of conceiving naturally and carrying to term a healthy baby are less than 10 percent. It is a disservice to you for us to try to sugarcoat these facts or for you to ignore them. Likewise, if you are having difficulty conceiving, do not think of it as your «fault.» It is a biological phenomenon. And it does not mean that you cannot become a mother, in one way or another.
Barbra had had problems with her periods ever since she was a teenager; they were always heavy and painful, and she was diagnosed with endometriosis and fibroid tumors in her uterus. When Barbra was in her early twenties, she had an ectopic pregnancy. This was the only time she had become pregnant, although she had never been very careful about contraception. At age 38, she met Cory and they became inseparable. Much to her surprise, two years later she found that she was pregnant. She and Cory were ecstatic and began planning marriage and a family life together. However, at three and a half months she miscarried. The event created problems in their relationship.
Two months after the miscarriage, Cory and Barbra decided to go away for a weekend, to discuss whether they wanted to stay together and whether to try again for a pregnancy. They carefully went through all the decision-making flow sheets that they used in their jobs and found that the decision to stay together made sense in more than emotional ways . . . and, of course, they loved each other. Children seemed like a natural outflow of the love that they had for each other. So they tried for the next several months to conceive again, but nothing happened. They got married, and the week after their wedding they went for their first appointment at the fertility clinic.
Different circumstances prevailed for Marie, who had never had any problems with her menstrual cycles and is very healthy and fit. At 36 years old, she had been trying to conceive for a year but without success.
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